Introduction
Let us be honest.
Many young people are not single.
But they are not committed either.
You talk every day.
You check on each other.
You share emotions.
You act like partners.
But when someone asks, “What are you?”
The answer is unclear.
“We are just talking.”
“Let us see how it goes.”
“No pressure.”
Welcome to the age of situationships.
A Very Nigerian Scenario You Will Recognize
You meet someone through a mutual friend, church group, workplace, or social media. Conversations flow easily. You start calling at night. They ask about your day. They get jealous when someone else shows interest.
They enjoy the benefits of commitment.
But avoid the responsibility of it.
When you ask for clarity, they say:
“I am not ready for a relationship right now.”
But they are ready for your time.
Your emotions.
Your loyalty.
Months pass. Sometimes years.
You are emotionally invested, but structurally undefined. That is a situationship.
And many young people are stuck here, quietly hoping things will change.
Why Situationships Feel Safe But Hurt Deeply
Situationships feel attractive because they reduce pressure.
No labels.
No expectations.
No accountability.
But here is the problem.
Human hearts are not built for confusion.
Research on relationships and emotional wellbeing shows that lack of clarity increases anxiety, insecurity, and emotional exhaustion. When expectations are unclear, one person often gives more while the other stays comfortable.
Situationships protect people from commitment, but they often punish those who desire depth.
Why Situationships Are So Common Today
There are reasons many young people drift into undefined relationships.
- Fear of commitment
• Fear of heartbreak
• Past relationship trauma
• Career and financial pressure
• Social media culture that normalizes options
• The desire to enjoy benefits without responsibility
In Nigeria especially, economic uncertainty makes many people hesitant to commit. Some feel they must first be financially stable before choosing love. Others enjoy emotional connection but delay responsibility.
The result is emotional delay.
The Difference Between Dating and Situationships
Dating has direction.
Situationships have convenience.
Dating involves:
• Communication
• Clarity
• Mutual intention
• Emotional responsibility
Situationships involve:
• Assumptions
• Mixed signals
• Emotional imbalance
• Avoidance of commitment
The difference is not love.
The difference is intention.
Why Commitment Still Matters
Commitment is not about rushing into marriage or pressure. It is about clarity and respect.
Commitment says:
• I know where this is going
• I value your emotions
• I am intentional about growth
• I am honest about my capacity
Commitment creates safety. And emotional safety allows love to grow.
Without commitment, affection becomes confusing and draining.
How to Navigate Love Better as a Young Person
- Be Honest About What You Want
Ask yourself first:
Do I want companionship, or do I want commitment
Am I ready for emotional responsibility
Am I staying because I hope they will change
Honesty with yourself saves you from prolonged confusion.
- Ask Clear Questions Early
Clarity is not desperation.
Asking:
• What are we building
• What does commitment mean to you
• Where do you see this going
These questions protect your time and heart.
People who want you will not be offended by clarity.
- Do Not Give Relationship Benefits Without Relationship Structure
Emotional intimacy without commitment creates imbalance.
If someone enjoys your loyalty, care, time, and exclusivity, structure should match access.
Boundaries are not wicked. They are wise.
- Understand That Love Is Not Just Feeling
Love is a decision supported by action.
Affection without responsibility is attraction.
Love shows up with consistency, clarity, and effort.
A Gentle Reminder for This Generation
You are not asking for too much.
You are asking the wrong person or asking too late.
Situationships often survive because one person is hoping silently. Hope is beautiful, but clarity is healthier.
You deserve honesty.
You deserve direction.
You deserve emotional safety.
Love does not have to be complicated to be meaningful.
Dating should help you grow, not confuse you.
Connection should bring peace, not anxiety.
Commitment should feel safe, not forced.
Choosing clarity does not make you old fashioned. It makes you emotionally intelligent.
And if you are learning how to love better, communicate better, and build healthier relationships, you do not have to figure it out alone.
At YTOP Global, we believe young people deserve honesty, encouragement, and support, not pressure to figure life out overnight.